Its the middle of the night and as usual insomnia has me wide awake. Since I can’t sleep I figured I’d try this wordpress app I downloaded months ago. Two months since my last blog. Yikes! Where to start…

We got the cabinets up, which wasn’t very easy or fun (especially since we hadn’t gotten the air conditioner going at the time). Despite a million things that went wrong we FINALLY moved in last month. Somehow what only took 2 days to pack has taken over a month to unpack. I’m starting to think our stuff is multiplying.

The last few months have felt like a huge blur. I’ve been so busy that I’m both mentally and physically drained. Things are finally starting to settle down.

I know this wasn’t much of an update but hopefully I’ll post one soon…hopefully.

Still waiting to move. We were suppose to have moved in already but we were set back. The house we bought has a gas cooktop and a wall stove that need to be replaced. After pricing everything we found that if we eliminate them, put in a freestanding stove and put in new cabinets it will come out to the same price as the cook top and wall oven. Since we can’t move in until I have a stove to cook on it will be a bit longer. But soon. I hope.

We’ve been at the house quite a bit fixing small things here and there. So far it seems like a quiet neighborhood. Well except for the man who will be living across the street from me. The other day he was drunk and on the phone talking – so loud I heard him from inside my house – going on about how much he hated the “whore” he was with. It was actually pretty hilarious. I have a felling he’s going to provide house of entertainment.

I’ve decided I’ll take simply-precious suggestion and refer to my fiancé as Big D and my son as Lil D. Referring to them as ‘my fiancé’ and ‘my son’ over and over in entries just don’t work for me but I’m not comfortable giving out info about my family.

I’m still looking for book suggestions. Me and Big D saw Dear John awhile back and I liked it enough to download the book to my kindle (which by the way is completely different then the movie and 10x better). I also downloaded The Last Song but my kindle screen cracked and I had to wait for a replacement so I haven’t gotten around to reading it yet. I’m trying to find stuff that I wouldn’t usually pick up and read. For those of you who asked, a kindle is a digital book reader. Kind of like a ipod but for books.

Well that’s about it for now. Hopefully I’ll have something less boring to write about next time. Hopefully.

Been trying to make time to blog but as usual I’m too busy or too tired from a busy day. The part that really irks me is that when I finally do find the time I end up staring at a blank screen. It seems like all the ideas and topics I wanted to write about disappear the moment I open wordpress. This entry is no different. Which of course means this entry will consist of more of my boring ramblings.

I’ll be moving sometime in the next few weeks. We’re buying a house. I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am.

For the last few months I’ve struggled with writing about my life without using my fiancé and my sons name. I’ve been trying to come up with nicknames for them but I’m not having much luck with it. Suggestions anyone?

Speaking of suggestions… anyone have any good book suggestions? I recently got a kindle and I’m looking to expand my library.

Well that’s about it for my rambling tonight. The medicine I took for my allergies is starting to take affect and I’m starting to see double.

Xoxo

Been meaning to blog for a few weeks now but I was sick. I don’t know about you guys but when I’m sick all I want to do is sleep and blogging is the furthest thing from my mind. After about 3 weeks of getting sick, feeling better for a few days and then getting sick again I ended up with a earache that forced me to see a doctor who told me I had a ear infection, a infection in my tonsils, a sinus infection and possibly a respiratory infection. Needless to say I’m not on some very strong antibiotics and finally feeling better. Still feeling a bit drained and tired, but that may have more to do with the fact that daylight saving screwed my insomnia up more than it already was.

I don’t have much to say tonight. I had quite a bit of things I wanted to blog about but so much time has passed by since I first wanted to write about them I’m sure most of them aren’t worth mentioning now. Hopefully I’ll get a chance to blog soon. Hopefully…

When I was 15 this day changed my life forever. I was 3rd period and without any warning I collapsed on the classroom floor. I wasn’t unconscious, I could hear everything going on around me I just couldn’t move. The school nurse came in and though my sugar had dropped which I knew wasn’t it because I was eating one of those huge suckers they sell around valentines day (you know the big round ones with the swirl). My dad came and got me from school and my parents took me to E.R.. They ran tests but they found nothing wrong with me. For the next few years I would undergo test after test while the doctors would try to figure out what was causing me to collapse. That first year was the hardest. Sometimes I collapsed 20 times a day. The worst part of it was wondering what the hell was wrong with me. I was for a sleep study when I was about 17 or 18 and the doctor told me I was collapsing from anxiety attacks. It was my body’s way of protecting itself. He also told me that they were caused by stress, whether it was good or bad stress. So even being happy and excited about something could cause it to happen. As you can imagine this was hell for me. They took over my life. I had an attack while my dad was giving me a driving lesson and because of that I don’t drive (I refuse to risk taking someones life). I was hardly ever (if ever) left alone. I could go on quite a bit more but I’ll stop and get to the point of this entry.

I didn’t write everything here so that you can feel pity for me, and I’m not throwing a pity party. I’m telling you this because 9 years later I can look back and say I beat it. When these attacks first started I didn’t think I’d ever find love, or be able to have kids. I didn’t think I’d be able to have a life at all. I still have anxiety attacks from time to time but they aren’t as bad as they once were. For the first time in 9 years I didn’t wake up and feel like “February 9th” was a depressing day for me. Despite the fact that I woke up with a sore throat and a fever I felt blessed.

There’s always light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes you just got to fight like hell and punch a hole in the wall to let it in.